Join host Steven Pesavento as he sits down with entrepreneur and mindset coach Peter Sage to explore the transformative journey from chasing external achievements to finding true fulfillment in life. From childhood influences to facing unexpected challenges like wrongful imprisonment, Peter shares insights and perspectives that challenge conventional notions of success and happiness. Discover how shifting from an achiever mindset to a contributor mindset can unlock profound joy, purpose, and meaning in your life.
Key Takeaways
Resources Mentioned
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About our Guest:
Peter Sage is an entrepreneur, mindset coach, and philanthropist known for his work in helping individuals break free from limiting beliefs and achieve true fulfillment in life. With a background in building multiple international businesses and overcoming personal challenges, including wrongful imprisonment, Peter brings a wealth of wisdom and insight to his coaching and speaking engagements. Through his experiences and teachings, he inspires others to shift from a mindset of achievement to one of contribution, unlocking profound joy and purpose along the way.
Download your free strategy guide, The Passive Investor Playbook at http://www.vonfinch.com/playbook
00;00;00;18 - 00;00;09;20
Steven Pesavento
Welcome back to the Investor Mindset podcast. I'm your host Stephen Pesce evento. And today I'm delighted to have Peter Sage in the studio. How are you doing today, Peter?
00;00;09;23 - 00;00;14;19
Peter Sage
I'm doing absolutely outstanding. So, really excited to be here. Should be a great chat.
00;00;14;21 - 00;00;38;25
Steven Pesavento
I'm super excited to talk with you because you've built a number of businesses. You're helping people change the way that they think, all on a path towards living an even better life. So we're going to get into a lot of different things today. But as a starting point, I want to start by looking back at earlier in your life, what events or influences from your childhood shaped who you are today?
00;00;38;27 - 00;00;59;06
Peter Sage
Always a good question to to ask and reflect back on, and I've done a bit of this. So, I have a, quite a few insights actually around that. I think, as I'm sure you do, that a lot of our early patterns, are formed in the childhood, usually around the areas of what I call survival archetypes.
00;00;59;08 - 00;01;23;18
Peter Sage
You know, if your parents were chaotic, you needed to create order to survive, as you probably a control freak, right? If your parents were. Yeah. control freaks, you're probably. Yeah, a creative side because you need to escape into your imagination. But that also translates a lot around money. If you show your parents constantly fighting over money, you have an unconscious link, you know, most likely.
00;01;23;20 - 00;01;47;10
Peter Sage
So linking money to lack of love or, unwanted feelings. So that's why most people push it away. And I remember probably some of the, the pattern that formed for me was, I was put into private education. My, my parents were working class, so they work that ass off to try to get me what they thought was the best start was a good education on my mom had to work two jobs.
00;01;47;10 - 00;02;04;27
Peter Sage
My dad was like he owned his own business, but kind of owned his own job. I had a junkyard, and I remember they came to me. I was ten years old, and they said, we can't afford to keep you in the private school anymore. you're not going to be able to see your mom if she.
00;02;04;27 - 00;02;40;02
Peter Sage
She's going to take another job or you go into the state. Yeah. Sponsored school now, which is like the free education, but the quality drops. And I wanted to see my mom. I didn't want my mom to be working hard, so I went I decided to, you know, leave the private education and go, you know, with its guaranteed university path and this guaranteed college path and all the stuff that you pay for good quality education for you, you know, your parents do and, and go into the sort of state lottery system of, you know, if I work hard, maybe I'll get a good educational, but the teachers aren't going to push you.
00;02;40;05 - 00;03;02;14
Peter Sage
Yeah. And I remember vividly, and this is obviously years later, looking back during the summer recess over that period between going from the, you know, the private education to the state education, my, my parents specifically and my mom every single day would hammer home, hey, if you don't work hard, you're going to end up living on a park bench.
00;03;02;17 - 00;03;27;13
Peter Sage
Yeah. If you don't pass your exams and go to college. Yeah, you're going to be emptying the trash of the people you were just in private school with, you know, and basically scared the bejesus out of me, thinking that if I didn't work hard, my life was over. And at ten years old, which is what I was then I essentially became an overachiever in that moment and over achiever all over the summer recess, an overachiever was born.
00;03;27;15 - 00;03;44;03
Peter Sage
If I didn't work hard, not only would I not get the connection, the love, the approval, but the validation that I so much wanted from my parents, as everybody does. But, you know, I'd basically spend my life living as a bum on the street. That was my belief. and so everything tracing back to ten years old was a watershed.
00;03;44;03 - 00;04;07;01
Peter Sage
My everything I did from ten years old onwards, I excelled at, ironically, apart from education, I actually ended up dropping out of school at 16. Yeah, I never did go to college. I never did get a university education. I never suffered the disadvantage of further education, as I sometimes say. but I started my first business at 17.
00;04;07;01 - 00;04;34;06
Peter Sage
I built multiple international companies. I was a millionaire in my early 20s. I was buying Ferraris for cash when my friends were struggling to catch that. Yeah. Unemployment. Yeah. Benefits. Flying Concorde. And to all intents and purposes, I was, you know, I'd made it. what that was masking was a lesson I had to learn very hard. And I'm sure some of your listeners and tribe would appreciate this.
00;04;34;09 - 00;05;06;29
Peter Sage
There was a huge difference between a life chasing what you think is success, which is really external validation and a life chasing fulfillment. Because I nearly killed myself driving home one night at 2:00 in the morning and from the office as usual, having worked 130 hour a week, only to be sat at the side of the road waiting for a tow truck to take the car away, wondering how I just successfully not killed myself or somebody else and asking myself questions like why am I doing this?
00;05;06;29 - 00;05;22;01
Peter Sage
Why am I building this business? This trapping me, this monster? Well, multiple businesses at that point, because, you know, it's like you, I'm sure you've met so many people here, seems like, oh, I'll make it when I make my first million. Of course. What happens? You make your first million and then. Oh, well, I still don't feel like I've made it.
00;05;22;01 - 00;05;27;00
Peter Sage
Oh, I know I need 2 million in case I lose the first. Right, I.
00;05;27;00 - 00;05;27;14
Steven Pesavento
Mean.
00;05;27;17 - 00;05;28;09
Peter Sage
Right.
00;05;28;11 - 00;05;49;26
Steven Pesavento
I've definitely followed a similar path. And it's it's incredible that for me in particular, I had grown and grown up without a lot, had some similar beliefs around money, became an overachiever and achieved and was having a lot of fun making a lot of money. But then tragedy struck and my little sister passed away in a car accident.
00;05;49;26 - 00;06;11;06
Steven Pesavento
Unexpected. No one's fault, but one of those moments that really does change your worldview changes the perspective, the lens that I was seeing the world through. And for the last four, almost five years since then, business hasn't done the same thing. It used to. It used to fill me up, and then I realized it's actually empty. If you're not doing it for the right reasons.
00;06;11;06 - 00;06;32;18
Steven Pesavento
If there's not that contribution in that impact, that's really driving you. And so what I'm curious is if you can explain to the listeners the difference between living in that achiever mode, living in that place of climbing that first mountain versus living in that contributor mode where you're focused on impact climbing that second mountain.
00;06;32;21 - 00;06;56;28
Peter Sage
Oh, it's, I sum it up in a in a metaphor I call The curse of the White Rabbit. And I'll share it, because a lot of entrepreneurs really resonate with this, and they finally get to understand something they've never been able to articulate. And that is that, if you go to a dog track. Yeah. Or, you know, you understand the concept, you know, the dogs race around the track, you know, and people bet on who's going to win.
00;06;57;00 - 00;07;18;02
Peter Sage
they're fast dogs. They're greyhounds. And why do they run? They run because they're chasing a mechanical rabbit. Now, the question is, does the dog ever catch the rabbit? And so obviously he's no. Yeah. You know, entrepreneurs chase rabbits. We chase goals. That's what we do. All right. And we've all thought, oh, when I catch that rabbit then I'll be happy when I make my first million.
00;07;18;02 - 00;07;38;11
Peter Sage
When I get, you know, the body I want, when I achieve the, the next milestone, when I get the certificate on the wall, whatever it may be at the next quarterly results, we're always chasing something. Now back to the dog track. The reason the dogs don't catch the rabbit is not because they don't run fast enough, or they don't have the right personal trainer or diet.
00;07;38;14 - 00;07;55;02
Peter Sage
They don't catch the rabbit because the game is rigged specifically so they can't catch the rabbit. But if you see a dog at the end of the race, here's what they don't do. And if I can translate Greyhound for a second, let's just say the dog turns to his friend and says, hey, you know something? I ran three races this week.
00;07;55;02 - 00;08;22;00
Peter Sage
I've won two of them. Still haven't caught that damn rabbit. I quit. No, there's there's no market for for Greyhound, Prozac. Yeah. Instead you see the dogs at the end of the race, they are ecstatic. Why they got to run. And that's what they're born to do. Entrepreneurs are born to build businesses. That's what we do. But if you're validating yourself by how many white tails you think you can pinned to the wall, you're never going to be fulfilled.
00;08;22;03 - 00;08;48;10
Peter Sage
Not because you're not a good enough greyhound, not because you haven't got the right trainer, not because you're not smart enough. Not because your teacher said you wouldn't amount to anything. Not because you're always living in the shadow of your elder brother. Not none of that stuff. It's for one simple reason. The game is designed so that you can never catch the rabbit of fulfillment by running on the track of achievement.
00;08;48;12 - 00;09;17;08
Peter Sage
the two are just not together. Now. What you will get on the track of achievement are for primary human needs, but they're the needs of the personality. You got the need for significance, validation, approval. You get the need for, variety. You get the need for certainty, and you also get the need for connection. But what you won't get are the two needs of the spirit.
00;09;17;10 - 00;09;37;18
Peter Sage
which if you go and look out of your window and this isn't Pete's rules that I made up, you know, this is nature. One on one. Go have a look. I have my come up. All right. And that's growth and contribution. When you swap the need for significance or the need for certainty and you replace them as a hierarchy, you can't get rid of them completely.
00;09;37;18 - 00;10;04;22
Peter Sage
They're human needs. But you replace the hierarchy of what you're most driven by to be growth and contribution. We have to grow so that we can contribute. Your life will immensely shift. Stress will disappear. Yeah, your levels of joy will increase. Your sense of meaning, purpose, reason, why you're here. Yeah, all off the charts. But you can't do that if you're too busy being busy.
00;10;04;22 - 00;10;12;04
Peter Sage
Being busy chasing rabbits around a track. Thinking that when you get enough tails pinned to your wall, you'll finally have made it.
00;10;12;06 - 00;10;38;02
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, and yet it's so easy to get caught up in that game. That game that is rigged. Rigged so that we can't feel the feeling that we actually believe we're going after. And it's not until you come to that moment where you realize, wow, there's actually something bigger than me. There's actually something that is outside of me that I'm supposed to be here to serve.
00;10;38;04 - 00;10;59;26
Steven Pesavento
What? What was that moment for you when you realize that? Because I find that life is full of these moments where everything's going our way, and then suddenly it doesn't, and then some major thing or minor thing happens, and it opens up a whole new lens and perspective. What was one of those moments for you, Peter?
00;10;59;29 - 00;11;21;24
Peter Sage
I was in Africa. I've done a lot of charity work over the years. I'm, I've raised about $1 million for various charities. I'm about to raise another million dollars doing a crazy race at the end of the year. I might touch on that, but I, I remember being in Africa and I was working with, I was teaching at an orphanage in a place in rural Kenya called Bungoma.
00;11;21;26 - 00;11;45;25
Peter Sage
I was over there contributing my time, wanting to help, and I noticed something very unique. Oh, all of the kids were so happy. They've got nothing. We had one hour a day where they'd run the diesel generators, where we could potentially charge our phones or electronics. All right. You know, you you were sleeping on on mud cots, hoping the soldier ants wouldn't come and walk off with your meal.
00;11;45;28 - 00;12;13;04
Peter Sage
All right. Yeah, well, I figure, and I noticed that these kids. What have. I was living in Dubai at the time. Right. Which is know the, you know, the Mecca to materialism and it was like I would see kids. They were upset flying first class in Emirates. Yeah. Because they hadn't got the latest iPad. Yeah. And here's these kids in Bungoma who were so happy.
00;12;13;04 - 00;12;36;21
Peter Sage
Why. Because I had an extra spoon of rice that day, or it rained that day, or they found, yeah, this strange stick that they could play, you know, some crazy game with. And it made me understand something that finally allowed me to break the curse of the White Rabbit. And it was a realization I already am that which I seek.
00;12;36;23 - 00;12;58;07
Peter Sage
I woe, here's me trying to chase after all the feelings these kids already have feelings that I've already felt, which means my brain knows how to feel them. But if you peel back that onion, self-talk is very revealing. Essentially what people are saying that are playing the achiever game of feel great when just essentially what they play.
00;12;58;12 - 00;13;30;13
Peter Sage
I'll feel great when I make my million, will pay off my mortgage or get my Ferrari or whatever it is. Find the dream pond. I get my body down 30 pounds. I'll feel great when I fill in the blank. These kids play a different game. They play feel great now I'm playing feel great. When is an achiever? Essentially, the self-talk is this when I catch this mythical rabbit that I'm chasing, and if I do happen to catch it, by the way, I'm happy for 30s for the next fluffy tail appears and we know that game.
00;13;30;15 - 00;14;00;07
Peter Sage
I will not give myself permission to feel a feeling that I already know how to feel, until the outer world fits the certain pictures that I have decided it needs to fit in order for me to be happy. Now, when you analyze that, you're insane. Yeah. All right. Successful people, fulfilled people play feel great now. Don't feel great now because I finally made it.
00;14;00;09 - 00;14;15;24
Peter Sage
Yeah. I've never seen anyone on their deathbed. And I've been around people who have come to terms with their mortality with either hours, days or minutes to live. And here's what they don't say. Stephen, please go and get me my mahogany framed MBA certificate.
00;14;15;27 - 00;14;16;25
Steven Pesavento
Yeah.
00;14;16;27 - 00;14;37;02
Peter Sage
I want to hold it one more time. No, please go get me my stock certificate for when I made my first no. What is the universal message of people that finally come to terms and accept and surrender to their own mortality? Please go get me the people I care about most so I can tell them I love them one more time.
00;14;37;04 - 00;14;55;11
Peter Sage
And when you start to reprioritize your life, knowing that that is a scenario that is going to happen. Everybody has a final scene in the movie. you can stop playing the game now in terms of feel great when and start embracing, feel great now.
00;14;55;14 - 00;15;33;21
Steven Pesavento
It it's incredible how much pleasure is available when you have the right perspective. Right. What you're really saying is I went and hung out with kids who by all other means are the poorest compared to these people who have everything, and yet they're enjoying their life at such a higher level because of that perspective that they have. And therefore, we have the ability to change our perspective and recognize that everything we want, we already have inside, if we're choosing to want to feel those feelings that we're actually going after externally.
00;15;33;28 - 00;16;06;21
Steven Pesavento
And so when you make this shift, how do you go about continuing to create a level of motivation and drive to be able to go do the things out in the world? I've seen for myself that where I'm being drawn into is more of the impact, more of the contribution, more of the focus on others. But is is that what you found or what, has led to the most, drive once you let go of having to please others and instead, are, are doing something, meaningful in the world.
00;16;06;23 - 00;16;33;02
Peter Sage
Well, you you nailed it. It's basically, you grow up. Yeah. The first part of our life is all ego based, and that's required. Nobody's born in line. Yeah, Buddha wasn't born in line, and it was born Prince it author and had to go through his own adolescence. Right. And so when we realize there a big difference between physical maturity and emotional maturity and the two are not correlated, there's a lot of emotional teenagers running around in some pretty adult bodies.
00;16;33;04 - 00;16;52;25
Peter Sage
So if you stay stuck focused on yourself trying to prove to the world that doesn't care that you're good enough, trying to run around looking for somewhere else to re plug in your umbilical cord to get. Yeah. Approval validation will get your ego stroked so that you can finally prove to whoever the hell you think you're trying to prove it so that you've arrived and made it on.
00;16;52;27 - 00;17;18;24
Peter Sage
Worth it. Instead, when you cross that that Rubicon, that threshold where you give up the need to be significant and you start praising, playing the game of raising the significance of others, not as a martyr, not as a doormat. from somebody who's generally looking to contribute and you start to grow, mature emotionally at that point.
00;17;18;24 - 00;17;46;28
Peter Sage
So you grow up. And so, if you're still at a stage where you're trying to validate, if you're seeking external validation, if you are what I call swimming in goop GOP, the good opinion of other people, if you don't realize that life is a growth centric experience, not a comfort centric experience, and you're trying to fight against the river of life, it's exhausting.
00;17;47;01 - 00;18;14;09
Peter Sage
You're going to get feedback. If you don't finally become okay not being liked. You're going to stay emotionally immature. And if you think that life is about trying to, yeah, have a cushy. Just remember the unchallenged person remains juvenile. so when we realize life is growth centric, we're here to have this adventure. We're here to go out and swing the bat.
00;18;14;11 - 00;18;40;00
Peter Sage
Now, you star in the movie of your life. I know that because you're the only one that's in every single scene of your movie. and most people are running around as unpaid film extras in some big budget, big budget drama wondering why their life sucks. Most people are depressed, in my opinion. My experience not 30 years of working with human behavior and intervention.
00;18;40;02 - 00;19;02;14
Peter Sage
Number one reason most people are depressed is to focus on themselves and why their life doesn't work. You start being able to focus on what I can contribute. What can I do to add value rather than poor little me and let go of a victim story? You start moving forward with more meaning and purpose and life will get behind you.
00;19;02;16 - 00;19;27;01
Peter Sage
And that's not for everyone. And it's, it may be. Yeah. Tough love for some people. I'm not here to take away anybody's problems. Some people hang on to them like a trophy. Some people are very happy being unhappy. I'm not here to change that. I've got no right. The only right I believe that you and I have saved is the right to be the example of what's possible and the invitation to others, not the imposition on others.
00;19;27;03 - 00;19;47;25
Peter Sage
They will seek it out. That's why people listen to this kind of podcast. People that want to hang on to their victim story aren't going to listen in because, you know, call them on their shit and so lie right in a loving way because we want what's more possible for them. But if number one rule of coaching, if you want something for somebody more than they want it for themselves, you're wasting your time.
00;19;48;02 - 00;20;09;13
Peter Sage
And that's tough. If it's your brother, that's tough. If it's your mom. I soft your kid, I. But we have no right to take away the trials, tribulations and lessons that made us who we are in our journey away from other people. We can only inspire them by being an example of what's possible.
00;20;09;15 - 00;20;31;24
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, it's ironic because oftentimes, you know, I've experienced that out in the world, whether it's coaching or advising, whether it's working with friends or family, whether it's working with my team where you see someone's potential and you know what's possible, but you can't necessarily put the key in and drive the ignition for them. They have to find that on their own.
00;20;31;24 - 00;20;34;18
Steven Pesavento
They have to want to see that change. And yet.
00;20;34;18 - 00;20;36;11
Peter Sage
I'm.
00;20;36;14 - 00;20;37;11
Steven Pesavento
Go ahead.
00;20;37;13 - 00;21;00;27
Peter Sage
For for some people, the reality is it's not this lifetime. and I and I'm sure that was me. Yeah. Several lifetimes ago. Yeah. In the slow learning club. Yeah. needing to hit my head on the pavement, on the sidewalk enough times before I finally learned how to tie my shoelaces. that's just part of the game there.
00;21;00;27 - 00;21;21;04
Peter Sage
For the grace of God. Go on. That's why you can't get the spiritual ego involved. Saying I'm more involved than you are. And that's like a teenager looking at a six year old thinking they're superior. Yeah, no, it's like, you know, yeah, you're just further along on your own journey of evolution. And what's better, an acorn or a sapling sapling or an oak tree?
00;21;21;06 - 00;21;41;13
Peter Sage
Neither, you know, almost better. A ten year old or a 12 year old. Neither. You just said different parts of our own journey. When you appreciate, respect and hold a space for people at that level, rather than try to judge or criticize them for not being as enlightened as you think they should, or for being stupid because, you know, why do you keep running the same pattern in the same relationship with different people?
00;21;41;16 - 00;22;07;04
Peter Sage
You know? Or why do you still go back to alcohol or drugs? No. Well, they're for the grace of God. Go. I. And so again, it's about understanding. There's many different ages in the playground of life. Some people are going to want to fight. Some people are going to argue over whose marbles are theirs. And as you get older, there's there's less fights in the playground at university than there is a, you know, junior school.
00;22;07;07 - 00;22;28;06
Steven Pesavento
Well, there's something really powerful. I believe in understanding what beliefs are actually supporting you and what beliefs aren't right. It's through conversations like this. It's through listening. It's through attending events and and being surrounded by others who are thinking differently to you, that you can actually have a mirror to see. Well, what would that belief be like if I was able to try that?
00;22;28;06 - 00;22;51;16
Steven Pesavento
On if I was able to embody that, if I could take on that identity that Peter or Stephen has, or many of the other people who are finding a way to not only have financial success, but also to make an impact and be fulfilled and have the family and connections and friends that are most important to them. but I think that perspective is often hard to have unless you've gone through hard things.
00;22;51;18 - 00;23;18;10
Steven Pesavento
And so, so many people are afraid of going through hard things. But I think one of the most interesting things about you, Peter, is that you have so much wisdom when you speak. There's another level of frequency that I believe you're speaking on. But one of the stories that really inspired me was the moment that, you know, you were faced with a difficult challenge and you were sent to prison, sent to prison for doing, absolutely no crime.
00;23;18;12 - 00;23;30;03
Steven Pesavento
So would you tell us a little bit about that? And more importantly, what I'm interested in is hearing the story of your perspective and how you went into that space and made something great out of it.
00;23;30;06 - 00;23;51;21
Peter Sage
Oh thank you. Yes, it's one of the most incredible adventures I've ever had the privilege of living. And, it was, litigation. It was a business. Yeah. Argument in court. Yeah. Civil action. And I was up against a multi-billion dollar company with a $100 million ruthless law firm. And, yeah, I was on legal aid, state appointed attorney.
00;23;51;21 - 00;24;07;09
Peter Sage
I mean, it's not the best sort of. Yeah, yeah. So it's a David and Goliath where David doesn't actually win. Yeah. And, and they threw a contempt of court application at me. I thought it was a chess move. I didn't give it much credibility. I thought they were just trying to pressure me into a settlement. It was financial bullying.
00;24;07;10 - 00;24;38;25
Peter Sage
I was holding my ground. but. Yeah. Pick your battles. They sold this contempt application to the judge. He gave me six months, in jail as a civil prisoner. Never been arrested, accused of a crime. No criminal record? No. Guilty. No. None of that part lost everything. This is only just over five years ago. And I, as soon as we realized that this was going south, I needed to make a choice very quickly.
00;24;38;27 - 00;25;04;15
Peter Sage
Because you cannot control what you can't control. so many people stress about trying to control things they just can't control, usually other people. If you've ever made the mistake of expecting you from anyone else, you realize how futile that is. Yeah, but, I, I was sent down in handcuffs, to what was statistically the most violent prison in the UK.
00;25;04;17 - 00;25;27;14
Peter Sage
Pentonville on a, built in the 1800s. Yeah. Overcrowded. I mean, just it's, it's. And now if you've seen Prison Break, it's a similar kind of deal. Wow. Yeah. Hi. Category. Yeah. Prison. And it's because it was the closest to the court. That's where they put me. Now, I should have been re categorized as a civil prisoner and sort of sent to a holiday camp, you know, within, you know, a day or two.
00;25;27;17 - 00;25;55;26
Peter Sage
But that process took four and a half months. so I was in Pentonville for four and a half months, segregated with, you know, all of the criminals know not even the, the guards knew they'd never seen a civil prisoner. Right. Just not geared up for it. So the decision that I made was that I was not going to go in with the identity of a prisoner, because that is victim, and that's only going to lead one way.
00;25;55;26 - 00;26;18;26
Peter Sage
That's a tunnel with no cheese. Instead, I decided that I was going to go in as a secret agent of change, undercover Jedi. That was my mission. You know, I've been blessed to have helped millions of people over the last quarter century. Yeah, improve their mindset. Or maybe the people I could really help the most. Never get to see YouTube or come to a seminar or listen to a podcast like this.
00;26;18;26 - 00;26;40;12
Peter Sage
Why? Because they're in jail or they're surrounded by, you know, not a peer group, but a group. and so I went in, you know, on a mission like I'd been hired as undercover by the universe to go and help people. And I took that on. I was I was excited by the challenge. forget the fact that that just lumped all the legal costs against me.
00;26;40;12 - 00;26;56;09
Peter Sage
I was a third of a million in debt. I'd lost my business, my wedding, my everything. Yeah. everything just been taken from me. And I was thrown in at a huge depende. Not to mention, you know, I just. Before I got there, somebody was murdered. yeah. Blood on the floor was a daily occurrence. And this is not.
00;26;56;09 - 00;27;19;04
Peter Sage
I'm. Yeah. I'm. Yeah, I sit on the couch and watch UFC. I'm not a fighter. Right, right. Yeah. I speak a lot faster than most people hit. Right. Yeah. This is not my environment. But I never once felt in danger because I had a deep sense of knowing that I was there to serve. And if I was, the universe would take care of me.
00;27;19;06 - 00;27;36;09
Peter Sage
anyway, long story short, I ended up getting a lot of the prison soft drugs. I was stopping suicides. I redesigned the intake system to reduce violence between the wings. Is now being used in prisons all over the world. I won a national award for the work that I did, and, I came out six months later.
00;27;36;12 - 00;27;57;01
Peter Sage
Third of a million in debt, no business. no credit rating. Excited about how to dig myself out of that level of holes. I've never dug myself out of a hole that deep before. also, knowing that I just made a huge difference to a lot of people that continues to this day around the world.
00;27;57;04 - 00;28;23;06
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, there's it's so fascinating because by taking on this identity and taking on this purpose and trusting and having faith that by being a servant to others, that you are going to be protected and you were able to go in and have a totally different perspective while experiencing this experience, most people would go in with fear, but you decided to go in with excitement.
00;28;23;09 - 00;28;48;19
Steven Pesavento
You decided to go and looking at it as an adventure, you decided to say, hey, well, I'm here for a reason. I might as well, be able to give something as a result of the work that I'm doing. how it just seems so far fetched because it sounds like you're actually creating a level of certainty for yourself that everything was going to be okay, while most people are looking from certainty from an outside perspective.
00;28;48;21 - 00;28;51;01
Steven Pesavento
So how do you solve for that?
00;28;51;03 - 00;29;15;27
Peter Sage
It comes back to what you're saying about, you know, what are your primary beliefs. And there are some overarching beliefs that that really form a concrete foundation on which to build. Einstein said that the most powerful question a person can ask or answer in their lifetime is they live in a friendly or hostile universe. and what he was alluding to, that pretty smart guy never met him, but yeah, apparently knew what he was talking about.
00;29;16;00 - 00;29;35;06
Peter Sage
But what he was alluding to that was that if you have the belief that the universe is hostile, you're going to live life through a fear based lens. Everything with teeth can eat you. Yeah. You're always looking for the hole in the donut. You're going to train your reticular activating system to be, you know, overactive on looking for threats.
00;29;35;09 - 00;30;00;29
Peter Sage
If you believe instead that you live in a friendly universe, that life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you, happens through you, that you're the star of your movie, then you're going to have a very different experience and say the one of the short stories I wrote in there that helps so many prisoners is called Moral Stars, taken after the old adage, two men sat behind prison bars, one so much the other saw stars.
00;30;01;01 - 00;30;30;14
Peter Sage
The condition is identical, but how you choose to perceive it changes everything. And for me, what Einstein was really saying was this you don't live in a friendly universe. You don't live in a hostile universe. You live in a self-reflective universe. How you choose, underline, choose to see. The world will become your reality. You believe in magic. You're going to live a magical life.
00;30;30;17 - 00;30;56;22
Peter Sage
Now, I also understand that theory doesn't cover the price of admission to the higher levels of greatness. Yeah. Or as Bruce Lee put it, you can't learn to swim on dry land. I've been teaching a good game for 25 years at that point. I mean anything if I can't go and walk and demonstrate my own, you know, stuff in an environment that's real, no second takes no podcasts, no like behind the scenes, no blah blah staged questions.
00;30;56;22 - 00;31;21;07
Peter Sage
None of that crap. Now throw the guy in the most violent jail in England and see how he can manage himself, let alone others. Right. And yeah, there were times I was nervous. There were times I was depressed, I was times I cried, but they were where I visited, not where I lived. Most people yeah live in depression and visit joy occasionally.
00;31;21;09 - 00;31;35;29
Peter Sage
What muscle do you want to build. Because it is a muscle right. If you, if you live in the gym you can visit McDonald's once in a while. It's not going to do a lot. But if you live in McDonald's, I got news for you. You can visit the gym once in a while and I'm going to do a lot.
00;31;36;01 - 00;31;36;28
Steven Pesavento
Yeah.
00;31;37;00 - 00;32;00;18
Peter Sage
And you stuck with whatever those two choices will give you either health, vitality, vibrancy in a body to be proud of that's going to carry you pain free for a long part of life. Or an early grave with. Yeah, diabetes, obesity and metabolic dysfunction. Yeah. Pick one at no one does that to you. You choose. So I chose to live in a friendly universe.
00;32;00;21 - 00;32;16;08
Peter Sage
So I knew that that was my core belief. From there you can build from there you can say listen I know this must be happening for a reason. I don't know what the reason is, but it must serve me at some point. I don't get to look around corners. Every river bends, especially the river of life.
00;32;16;08 - 00;32;37;12
Peter Sage
There are no straight lines in nature. so I need to be able to trust the wisdom of the current. because if you know you're in the right river, you don't care if it bends left or right. But if you say, my goal is north and you're heading north, and the river then bends east, you're going to freak out and start to try to dig a channel.
00;32;37;15 - 00;32;58;23
Peter Sage
Yeah, north into the bank, which is exhausting. But if you learn how to sail with the bends, instead of fighting the current, you use your energy to position yourself better in the current. Roll with the punches. Play the hand you're dealt. There's many different ways you can look into modern vocabulary to describe it, but become a better sailor.
00;32;58;26 - 00;33;06;22
Peter Sage
And if you do that, the river almost always will catapult you back around to where you want to go faster, but at a different level.
00;33;06;24 - 00;33;07;26
Steven Pesavento
That's. Yeah. Because there's some if.
00;33;07;29 - 00;33;09;02
Peter Sage
You leave South Africa.
00;33;09;04 - 00;33;31;05
Steven Pesavento
There's such power in that perspective. Because that perspective has faith and has trust that things are working out. It has a set of beliefs that are empowering you to to be able to stay in that space of doing what you're there to do and being able to take something that is a terrible situation and make it into a great gift.
00;33;31;07 - 00;33;56;22
Steven Pesavento
And it truly just comes down to that perspective. And the reason that this is so important, if it's not already clear, is that in business, in your personal life, in investing, there's always going to be challenges. But those challenges can be fuel to propel you forward. Lessons that you can learn from and grow. Or they can be anchors that hold you back and don't allow you to truly live your best life.
00;33;56;25 - 00;34;30;02
Peter Sage
100%. And we know in in if you go to nature. Yeah. In neuromuscular biology, if you take a mammal of which last time I checked, we were part of that species. All right. Yeah. If a mammal sees an external situation and perceives that as a threat, it will lose up to 30% of its muscle strength. Wow. If that same mammal perceives that same scenario as a challenge, it will gain up to 30% of its muscle strength.
00;34;30;02 - 00;34;59;10
Peter Sage
That is your biochemistry. Either playing, playing dead, and riding you off and going into fight or flight or rising to the challenge. And when you realize we didn't come here to avoid the challenges, we came to take them on. Everything about a biology is geared towards that. which is why, yeah, contrast frames are a very powerful tool for people to use.
00;34;59;10 - 00;35;25;02
Peter Sage
I'll give you an example. You can always contrast things one of two ways. Yeah. Our brains are contrast machines. We make meaning out of contrast. That's how we're wired neurologically. Yeah. How do you read? Well, your brain contrasts two different colors in symbolism that then internalizes that as a, as language right off the page, black and white.
00;35;25;04 - 00;35;50;03
Peter Sage
If you're looking at a parking lot, you contrast empty spaces with small spaces, or you contrast a parking lot full of white cars and there's one red one, you're going to notice it, the red one first, right? By contrast. So we're always we're we're contrast machines. So let's say you go to work one morning and your boss calls you when you've been there three months on trial and the boss calls you and says, hey, same.
00;35;50;06 - 00;36;06;19
Peter Sage
Really been impressed with your work for the last three months. You know, you're a team player. Everybody loves you. And we we decide that you we're going to give you a permanent contract and we're going to give you a 10% pay rise as well. Now, on a scale of 1 to 10, how good you feel.
00;36;06;21 - 00;36;11;08
Steven Pesavento
You feel amazing. Pretty good. Feel like an eight. Yeah.
00;36;11;11 - 00;36;31;09
Peter Sage
So you're buzzing around and yeah, you go to the staff canteen at lunchtime and yeah, you're standing next to Cheryl and Cheryl's making a coffee and she's all buzzing to say, hey, Cheryl, how's it going? Oh great day. The boss called me into his office. You know, I've been here for three months and he get me a permanent contract, and she does the same kind of job as you and your boss in as well as you are happy for.
00;36;31;09 - 00;36;51;16
Peter Sage
And she says, yeah, and get me a 20% pay rise. Yeah. You know, like, whoa, whoa whoa whoa, hang on. You got she got 20%. Now you don't feel so good. Yeah, you had nothing before, and now you only have 10%. See, when you contrast the ten with zero, you feel good. You contrast it with 20. You now feel like crap.
00;36;51;18 - 00;37;04;29
Peter Sage
Same 10%. I was able to shift some of the mindsets of the prisoners, just by using the contrast frame of how much they could have got as a sentence versus what they actually got.
00;37;05;01 - 00;37;26;03
Peter Sage
Yeah, guy gets ten months and the maximum sentence is two years. Imagine you had to go two years. And then just as you're about to be sent away, the judge says, you know something? I've just reconsidered. I'm gonna reduce it to ten months. How do you feel? Incredible. You skip out of that courtroom rather than walk with your head in your hands.
00;37;26;06 - 00;37;51;15
Peter Sage
There's always a way to contrast. So the skill or one of the best skills if you really want a decent investor mindset, if you want to in a human mindset, that's going to give you self-mastery. Yeah. Which beats knowledge mastery all day long. learn how to continually contrast in a way that makes you feel good. Not bad about what you have.
00;37;51;17 - 00;38;13;11
Peter Sage
Just like the kids in Africa. Wow, I got an extra spoon of rice versus oh crap, I didn't get the extra iPad. Right. You do that. There's always, always, always something to be grateful for. Yeah. You lose your arm. It could have been both. And there's always a way to.
00;38;13;13 - 00;38;42;12
Steven Pesavento
Yeah it it it it is a skill that is not well taught today. It's a skill that I don't believe very many people have built into a strong skill and a habit, but yet it's extremely powerful because from an energy, a happiness, a motivation, perspective, if you do that contrast, you're going to put yourself in such a better state and a place to be able to show up and do the things that you really need to do to get the life that you actually want.
00;38;42;14 - 00;38;52;26
Steven Pesavento
So I've got two more questions. But before I get there, let's pause and share with the audience. Where can they follow you or where can they, they learn more about what you do. Peter.
00;38;52;28 - 00;39;13;28
Peter Sage
Oh thank you. Well, my my website is is Peter sage.com. I'm, I've just launched a major campaign for a crazy race I'm doing at the end of the year, which is, that the tagline is cheerfulness in the face of adversity. We're raising $1 million for mental health, and I'm going to be rowing 3000 miles across the Atlantic.
00;39;14;00 - 00;39;50;22
Peter Sage
Wow. In the world's toughest row, now sleeping for two hours and rowing for two hours, 24 seven for two months. And, and that's, that's probably the most insane physical. Yeah event on Earth right now. But, yeah, I'm, I'm in this year's World's toughest row event, and I'm in the past category. So this, you know, myself and my, my, my childhood friend and and we're going to see a team cheerfulness.com if you want to come and support us with mental health, we're also giving three times of the people donate, in terms of mental health programs and self-mastery programs, to try to spread the message and, and hopefully bring one smile at
00;39;50;22 - 00;39;56;07
Peter Sage
a time as we cross the Atlantic, as you follow us on, on that crazy race.
00;39;56;09 - 00;40;23;08
Steven Pesavento
It sounds it sounds amazing. Everyone should definitely check that out. So the last two questions I have and I wish we had ours, but we'll have to wrap up on this for today. the the power of acceptance, the power of that perspective, the power of being able to let go of the fact that you don't have control and step into a state of accepting the way that things are so that you can be more proactive and productive.
00;40;23;10 - 00;40;28;27
Steven Pesavento
How do you do this and why is it so important to be able to do this quickly?
00;40;28;29 - 00;41;01;19
Peter Sage
Well, there's a there's a very, you know, powerful caveat here to look at. If you surrender and give up the need for control from a victim level, you will go into apathy and you will go into further levels of victim. If you give up the need for control because you trust in a friendly universe that it's got your back, that it will be this or something better, that the universe is taking care of you and everything's going according to plan, even if it's not a plan your left brain can wrap its head around right now.
00;41;01;21 - 00;41;26;20
Peter Sage
That way, you rise in levels of consciousness to have a better life so that it's not just a case of oh well, okay. Screw it. Yeah, I'll just surrender that. No. Yeah. When Jesus said turn the other cheek if you're in victim mode, that's like getting sand kicked in your face, right? If you're in that surrender to being oppressed, if you're an achiever, you're like, like hell.
00;41;26;20 - 00;41;43;10
Peter Sage
Will I turn the other cheek? I'm going to punch the guy back. all right. That's just struggle. An effort to try to carve your way into a hostile world. If you had a higher level of control, you see the wisdom behind that. It's like, no, a slave should turn the other cheek. You can't be pushed, controlled, manipulated.
00;41;43;13 - 00;42;02;07
Peter Sage
Or as Gandhi said, you know, you, you know, no one can take away your power. You can only give it away. So, yeah, that you need to have that level of trust or faith in something bigger than you, even if you call it your higher self. before you do that. Otherwise you're going to crumble.
00;42;02;09 - 00;42;39;06
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, I really hear that as a core belief. And I see it and I really believe in it because for so long I was pushing, I was in effort mode. I was making things happen. And then through my own spiritual journey and some of the things that I mentioned earlier, I realized that, wow, if you do surrender, but from a place of having trust and faith that things will work out, not only do things start flowing to you, but the journey is way more fun, it's way more enjoyable and so I think all of this stuff that we've talked about, Peter, is so critical because from a business standpoint, this will totally change the way
00;42;39;06 - 00;43;02;19
Steven Pesavento
that you bring clients into your world, that you are able to create the income to make the impact that you want to do. And from a personal level, it will lead to having a much more enjoyable process and having people want to be around you. And so for those listeners who are hearing this message and they're saying to themselves, they're nodding along, saying, I know, I know, I need to do this.
00;43;02;19 - 00;43;17;17
Steven Pesavento
I know I need to change my beliefs, but I just can't get myself to make that first move. What do you recommend? Where's the first place to start? So they can begin to adopt a different way of thinking and step into this.
00;43;17;20 - 00;43;36;16
Peter Sage
Ask yourself why you believe that most people are walking around with beliefs that they've had since they were teenagers, and they've never questioned it. They're just adopted as a model of the world. They've never done an audit on their own limitations. Now, what do you believe about money? Well, why do you believe that? Is that still true for you?
00;43;36;19 - 00;43;52;23
Peter Sage
Was it true to begin with, or did it just serve you at that time for a period, she wouldn't walk around with clothes that you wore when you were ten years old. You'd look pretty silly, but most people are walking around with beliefs they've had since they were ten years old, or teenagers, and most people are sleeping awake.
00;43;52;25 - 00;44;11;11
Peter Sage
They hypnotize into thinking, yeah, material ism is the way to validate yourself. And so I've got to buy all this crap so that I can look this way, smell this way, I appear this way. So hopefully to impress people that don't really care. But I won't figure that out until I get there on top of Success Mountain and then want to jump off because I don't like the view.
00;44;11;13 - 00;44;32;04
Peter Sage
So yeah, start small, question a belief and then play with it live as if it was true. The new belief seven days. See what shows up. You don't like it? Don't adoption. You can always go back to crappy victimhood. It'll be waiting for you if you wish. But most people will start if you give faith in the universe a chance.
00;44;32;04 - 00;44;53;13
Peter Sage
If you give, yeah, you understand there is a primary law and I'll leave people with this one thing. They want a tattoo on the inside of their eyelids. Outer world follows in a world. Your financial bank account follows your emotional bank account. You want your financial bank account to go up and you feeling like crap. Good luck.
00;44;53;15 - 00;45;18;19
Peter Sage
You might get a temporary spike. It'll come back down. Because the number one rule of personal growth. People will never rise above the opinion of themselves. So focus on the gifting you are. You have. You wouldn't be here if you didn't have some level of mission to go give you a heart and soul to help humans raise this level of consciousness to the next level.
00;45;18;22 - 00;45;21;07
Peter Sage
Most people listening to this already understand?
00;45;21;09 - 00;45;43;07
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, well, Peter, such sage wisdom. It's, it's amazing having, you know, a fellow traveler on the journey who has been down the path and face challenges and is an incredible example of what's possible when you do make those beliefs and changes. So thank you so much for joining us. And thank you all for listening. And we'll see you on the next episode.