In this episode of the Investor Mindset podcast, Steven Pesavento interviews Coach AK, a sought-after coach who has worked with Google executives and entrepreneurs alike. Coach AK shares a powerful lesson learned from growing up as a triplet: uncover your unique identity to achieve your goals. He discusses the importance of self-awareness and asking the critical question: "Who do I need to be?" This episode dives into how to find clarity, develop the right habits, and master the art of storytelling to influence yourself and others.
Key Takeaways
Resources Mentioned
Interested in connecting with other like-minded individuals? Then join our VonFinch Private Capital Network. Learn more at http://www.vonfinch.com/invest.
About our Guest:
Coach AK is a high-performance coach who empowers individuals and teams to achieve their full potential. He has worked with Google executives, entrepreneurs, and community leaders, helping them find clarity, develop winning habits, and master the art of storytelling. Coach AK's unique perspective, shaped by his experiences as a triplet and a leader, allows him to connect with people on a deep level and guide them towards success.
Are you looking for High-Performance Business & Mindset Coaching? Schedule a call now and see how we can be of service to you. http://www.investormindset.com/discover
00;00;03;02 - 00;00;12;12
Steven Pesavento
Welcome back to the Investor Mindset podcast. I'm your host Stephen Pesavento. And today I'm grateful I've got coach AK in the studio. How are you doing today, coach?
00;00;12;13 - 00;00;14;15
Coach AK
What's up? What's up? How are you doing.
00;00;14;17 - 00;00;40;20
Steven Pesavento
Man? I'm excited to talk to you because your guy who's been out there, sports expert, coaching people, helping people across from Google to entrepreneurs or local community leaders, you've done a ton of stuff. I, I really respect and appreciate it. So we're going to talk about business. We're going to talk about some of the things that you've learned coaching people at Google and other high local level organizations, and a lot of things in between.
00;00;40;20 - 00;00;53;25
Steven Pesavento
But before we get into all of that, what I'm most curious about is looking back at earlier in in your life, what events or influences from your childhood shaped who you are today.
00;00;53;28 - 00;01;14;18
Coach AK
Who go and pick? When I was a young lad, well, one of the things I find, you know, about my background that a lot of people may not know is that I am a triplet. So I have a twin brother, and I have a twin sister. And I know you're out living in Denver. I was actually just not too far from there.
00;01;14;18 - 00;01;41;16
Coach AK
I was born and raised. But how that really shaped me is when you grow into this world with another person, right? Besides your like, we'll say to you, realize just about the uniqueness of individuals. And I think for me, because I always shared my DNA with somebody else on this planet, I always wanted to find my own individuality because people oftentimes always put me into this box literally.
00;01;41;16 - 00;02;04;04
Coach AK
It was like the same clothes, same classes, same ways they thought we'd navigated through the world this very much my best friend. But at the same time, you realize a lot about how unique individuals are, even if they might have be in the same family or in the same company, or the same role or same title. It's about what is the story behind them that really makes them who they are.
00;02;04;07 - 00;02;26;02
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, it's really powerful metaphor because two people who share the exact same DNA grew up in the exact same house, have a different life experience, a different perspective of a different set of desires, passions, things that draw them forward in the world. And you've you've lived that directly. How do you think that's influenced how you interact and connect with other people?
00;02;26;05 - 00;02;56;13
Coach AK
What do you learn really early on? The difference between nature versus nurture? because if it was nature, me and him would be the exact same. But you realize that through nurture, it's the environments, it's the social circle, it's the activities that we engage in that really make us who we are. So when I actually work with people and meet with people, the first question I do like, tell me about you, tell me where you're from.
00;02;56;13 - 00;03;08;09
Coach AK
Tell me your upbringing because you realize it's actually about through their experiences. They're decisions that they make that really allow them to be who they are each and every single day.
00;03;08;11 - 00;03;30;05
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, yeah. It is. It is fascinating. That's why I like this question, because it instantly tells me how deep someone is willing or interested in going and what things really made an impact your influence on their life. Because a lot of things do come from where we come from. And obviously we can we can change and we can grow and we can, you know, shift our perspective.
00;03;30;07 - 00;03;58;08
Steven Pesavento
But we have to be intentional about wanting to do that. And we still have the, the gift or the baggage, however you want to look at it from, from our past. Yeah. And so what I'm curious about is you've worked with entrepreneurs, you've worked with big corporate leaders, Google Executive across the board. What have you noticed as a coach is consistently the first step where you see people need to make a change when working with you or or others.
00;03;58;11 - 00;04;06;06
Coach AK
Or it's easy. I mean, the hardest question to answer for most people is what do you want?
00;04;06;08 - 00;04;07;02
Speaker 3
00;04;07;04 - 00;04;26;22
Coach AK
Like, what do you want? Especially in a world where everybody's to harness who and what to me, that oftentimes the hardest person to be in the whole entire world is really ourselves. So you just ask people, what is it that you want? And you can usually tell by, is it what they want or what society expects from them?
00;04;26;24 - 00;04;42;03
Coach AK
And I was asking, I was actually working with, with a client and I was asking what was so, so tell me what you want. And he was always and all my friends are saying I should do this because, you know, I'm not talking about your friend. Okay, well, the company said I should do this, like, no, let's let's pause for a moment.
00;04;42;05 - 00;05;00;28
Coach AK
Let's just pause for a moment. What is it that you want at that moment? The person to pause for a second kind of thought because he's never actually thought about it. What is it that you actually want that fills your soul? And obviously, or more importantly, is it something about what is it that you want that's gonna help you get x, y, z?
00;05;00;28 - 00;05;15;10
Coach AK
Like what is your internal desires? Say, well, you're not being no expectations. No no no, no, no, nothing of that nature. But just really about what is it you truly want in your soul that really is going to drive you for happiness and for joy?
00;05;15;13 - 00;05;39;12
Steven Pesavento
Yeah. This is one of the most powerful tools, I think is asking yourself that question. And yet when I meet other people who haven't done some of the work and they are stuck, they're stuck in other people's desires for their life. They're stuck at looking for the answer from someone else. What do you recommend? Or what should they ask themselves to to really be able to reach inside and and answer that question?
00;05;39;15 - 00;06;00;22
Coach AK
Well, actually having to go through an activity and the activity, as I said, it's like I want you to put a list together of 100 things you like, you want and you desire, and they look at me for a second, like they say 100, like, yes, put 100 down. And what usually happens is when they start to write it down, they'll get to maybe 15 or 16 and then they get stuck.
00;06;00;24 - 00;06;23;24
Coach AK
And then you start to take no, just whatever you can, whatever you like, whatever you desire. But at some moment something gets blocked or unblocked, and all of a sudden they're starting to just write down the two, starting to write down, because what they get to is removing this word of the word realistic. when you remove the word realistic, they say, well, one of the one thing I want to do is like travel around the world.
00;06;23;26 - 00;06;40;09
Coach AK
Well, then write it down. Well, what happens if I want to be a famous actress, for example? I say write that down. And so once you get to 100, well, even go back and ask when they said that thing about wanting to be this famous actress, and we'll even break that down even more, like, what do you mean by being an actress?
00;06;40;12 - 00;06;57;15
Coach AK
My, the more that you actually go down to it. When I was doing this with a client, they said, I really love is just to perform and just get out of my own way. It's like, well, you know, you can do that with like improv. and so it gave her more clarity that it wasn't about the actors that she wanted to be.
00;06;57;17 - 00;07;18;02
Coach AK
She just wanted to be able to just have fun and be on stage and try different things and when we realized that, it gave her a lot of clarity. So my first thing I do with anybody is how do you help somebody find clarity? In what? To help somebody find clarity? I asked in the second question and not with the what you want, but the who that you need to be to accomplish that.
00;07;18;02 - 00;07;20;11
Coach AK
What?
00;07;20;13 - 00;07;21;10
Speaker 3
00;07;21;13 - 00;07;43;07
Steven Pesavento
So you go right to identity. You go right to that identity of who that person needs to be. And the question before you even brought that up was, how do you disconnect from that old identity? And I imagine it's it's in part by discovering, you know, what kind of characteristics you need to show up as to, to be that person or attract those types of people into your life.
00;07;43;12 - 00;07;44;25
Steven Pesavento
What does that look like?
00;07;44;28 - 00;08;02;22
Coach AK
Well, I think one important thing is I live right. I live in Los Angeles and I can see the 4 or 5 from my house, and it always makes me think of this GPS example like so. For example, have you ever got into your car and the GPS asks you, where did you go yesterday? You that ever happened to you?
00;08;02;25 - 00;08;09;22
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, well, it doesn't ask it, but as soon as I type, as soon as I open up that thing, I got that history.
00;08;09;25 - 00;08;28;21
Coach AK
Suggest that history where I should. But it's up to me to decide if I want to. But I usually say oftentimes when somebody gets in the car, that's the only thing. Well, this is where you are right now. Yeah. Where do you want to go? Yeah. That's it. And I say the reason why I doesn't come in and say, where did you go yesterday is because it doesn't care.
00;08;28;23 - 00;08;50;19
Coach AK
Who cares where your family of origin was. Who cares what. You know. The baggage you have. Who do you want to be in this moment right here and right now. You know last week I've been on the last six weeks. I was on the road speaking and you know, a few weeks back I had a particular speaking engagement that didn't go as well as I wanted it to.
00;08;50;21 - 00;09;11;03
Coach AK
But a couple of days later, I was back on the road and I was about to speak to an event, and I remembered about this question about the who I needed to be. See, if I was thinking about two weeks ago when I had this speaking event that didn't go exactly the way that I wanted to, where I felt kind of nervous or I was unsure of myself.
00;09;11;06 - 00;09;29;13
Coach AK
In that moment, I could say, well, the who that you need to be is something that looks people in there. I, you need to be is someone that projects who you need to be, someone that connects with the person in front of them. See, the thing about the who you need to be is you have control over that every single moment of every single day.
00;09;29;15 - 00;09;55;29
Coach AK
so when you ask the question of, well, how do you help take off from the past, I'm like, you have that choice about who you want to be in this moment right here and right now. You know, I work with a lot of leaders and they, you know, as they grow in their companies, they might talk about, you know, I'm navigating some difficult challenges back home because I've been on the road or I've been working because I have this project and the I'm not able to be as present as I am with my loved ones or my little ones.
00;09;56;02 - 00;10;14;01
Coach AK
And then I ask my, well, who do you need to be? And I want to be someone that's present. And it's like, what does that look like? Well, who I need to be is someone that puts their phone away when I get home. Who I need to be is someone that when I'm going to the store I think about does my wife can anything before I get home.
00;10;14;04 - 00;10;33;05
Coach AK
So oftentimes what I say to people is like when you understand that who that's that current moment. But the what that's a future state. state the future state can always change. But the who you need to be in that moment is really powerful, you know, to kind of build on this. You know this is the investor podcast.
00;10;33;05 - 00;10;53;27
Coach AK
And oftentimes you know when we're looking to invest we're looking for a future state. But oftentimes we know sometimes when you're investing even as say, day trading, your nerves can get the best of you sometimes. and I say, well, if you really want to be the best, invest, if you really want to make the best decision, well, who do you need to be in this moment?
00;10;53;27 - 00;11;17;01
Coach AK
And it might be. I need to be someone that takes a deep breath first. And takes five minutes. Ten minutes before I make a decision versus reactive. And I whatever emotion comes to me. So I want to let people know as I kind of give this longer winded answer, that this is the most important question I think any of us can answer, because not about the what we want, but the who that we need to be and how we want to show up for ourselves.
00;11;17;03 - 00;11;53;11
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, it's such a powerful tool because you can use it to get clarity, to get clarity on how you can show up or who you're going to show up as, or what type of skills you're going to need to develop in and and habits that you need to be able to show up as that person regularly. But I think what's even more profound to me as a reminder is how powerful can be when you create that habit to ask yourself this in the moment, right now, you're in the middle of an argument with a coworker, and if you can catch yourself and be present enough to ask, who do I need to be to get
00;11;53;11 - 00;12;02;19
Steven Pesavento
the outcome that I'm looking for here? And that might shift your approach, whether that's with a coworker or a loved one or client or anybody in between.
00;12;02;22 - 00;12;22;23
Coach AK
Where you you bring up something huge, huge. And that's the habits. And most of the time we think that to really make big, audacious goals, we have to take these big actions. But oftentimes what I call it are these small little next right moves or these little micro habits.
00;12;22;25 - 00;12;24;00
Speaker 3
00;12;24;02 - 00;12;48;22
Coach AK
For example, I want to build a better relationship with my loved one or my colleague or my co-founder, but you realize that you have a habit of always, you know, like going after or always responding where might be where the micro habit might just be. If I take a breath first. Right. If I look at the person their eyes first or if I ask a question first.
00;12;48;25 - 00;12;57;17
Coach AK
Right. So it's actually the micro habit that if you do that micro habit the bigger action will actually take care of itself.
00;12;57;20 - 00;13;19;24
Steven Pesavento
And by being clear on what those types of micro habits are, you can then start turning them into truly habits that are done automatically. And in those moments where they're not automatic, you can be aware of them and know that there are tools that you can use to get what you actually or desiring. There's often times it's so easy to get caught up in the moment.
00;13;20;02 - 00;13;41;07
Steven Pesavento
If you're an investor and you've made some kind of long term investment and you don't have an option to exit, you are along for the ride. And that ride is being driven by somebody else, somebody that you trusted, somebody that you believe has the capability to do the thing that you want to have happen, but things in the market or the environment change.
00;13;41;09 - 00;14;00;06
Steven Pesavento
And if you can pause for a moment, gather yourself, understand what the details are, ask the important questions, but then have trust and faith that that things are going to turn out the way that you need to. You're in such a better place than if you try to rush to sell at the bottom of the market, which so many people make that mistake.
00;14;00;06 - 00;14;03;07
Steven Pesavento
And it's the worst thing you can do in investing.
00;14;03;09 - 00;14;21;21
Coach AK
Well, you have those three types of investors as well. You have the day trader, you have that swing trader and you have that long term investor. But when you but what I also use that as a correlation to life. if you are a day trader, you're working on what you're trying to get in and out of that deal relatively quickly.
00;14;21;21 - 00;14;43;08
Coach AK
So if that that ticker symbol goes down, even a 0.1 or 1%, you start to feel that, but if you are, let's say a swing trader where you're looking to make investments either that day or that week or even that month, you're not going to be so reactive to if it goes up and down by a percentage point in a moment.
00;14;43;10 - 00;15;07;21
Coach AK
But now that long term investor when that goes a point here, a point down there, they're not even worried. So always ask the question like what type of person are you when you are engaging in an activity. Are you the short term investor. Right. Are you about the swing trader or are you the long term investor where you're actually able to be like you know what things are going well because I see where the trend is going.
00;15;07;23 - 00;15;22;14
Coach AK
The trend is going up. I might have been down for a day, might have been down for a week. But overall when I look at the overall trend where are things going. And so what I'm working with a lot of leaders. When I'm working with a lot of teams, I ask them that question, don't worry about today, don't worry about tomorrow.
00;15;22;17 - 00;15;39;15
Coach AK
What does it look like for this month? What does it look like for the past quarter? What does it look like for the the year? Are you trending up, you trending down or you're staying the same. And it helps them really be able to really calm themselves to understand. Okay, you know what? I'm able to manage my emotions.
00;15;39;15 - 00;15;46;14
Coach AK
I'm able to manage myself. I'm able to see the projection trajectory of actually where I'm going.
00;15;46;16 - 00;16;10;26
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, yeah. It's really, really valuable and powerful to ask yourself that same question. Who? Who do I need to be if I'm going to be an investor, if I'm going to take on that identity of having the investor mindset of of living like an investor, what are the different habits and actions that I'm going to bring into my life to allow me to facilitate that in a good way?
00;16;10;28 - 00;16;41;11
Steven Pesavento
And there's nothing wrong with being a trader. I don't personally love trading. I don't like the short term, anxiety or the fluctuations that come from that, but yet it's a really powerful strategy in the right moment. And if you're going to be that, then you need to be focused on what are those tools and habits that fit that particular type of strategy versus if you're going to buy something and plan on holding it for five years, and you know that what the business plan looks like, you're going to have a different perspective.
00;16;41;16 - 00;17;03;18
Steven Pesavento
And that way you're checking in and seeing what's happening. But you also know that the end of the day, you plan on holding and you can't get out early because that would actually, you know, break the the trade or the investment that you made. So people are often always telling stories, even in the moment when you are looking at that investment, you're making that decision.
00;17;03;18 - 00;17;23;13
Steven Pesavento
You're telling yourself a story about what you should do. And that's often influenced by the past. But I also find that most people are not great storytellers. They they have an automated response, or they take a story or they see a situation, they're creating a story in their head about it. And that can make a huge impact from a mindset perspective.
00;17;23;13 - 00;17;45;12
Steven Pesavento
Yet the importance of being able to tell a good story, to get yourself in the right state is critical, and it's important to be able to tell a good story that draws people in onto your vision. As a leader. So how can how can people master this skill so they can master their own state, let alone mastering influencing others?
00;17;45;15 - 00;18;05;07
Coach AK
Well, I mean, it's it's huge. I mean, one is how do we even tell a story, right? Which the art of telling a story. And I have this example a little bit I use where I tell people like, I'm going to the store to get a shirt and ask people like, okay, what? What image comes to your mind when I say, went to the store to get a shirt?
00;18;05;07 - 00;18;09;05
Coach AK
So, for example, what image comes to your mind?
00;18;09;07 - 00;18;16;08
Steven Pesavento
I see you walking into a department store and buying a t shirt or a button up shirt or something.
00;18;16;10 - 00;18;20;18
Coach AK
Okay, why didn't a Hawaiian shirt come to your mind?
00;18;20;21 - 00;18;26;15
Steven Pesavento
You know, probably, because I don't see as a guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
00;18;26;18 - 00;18;35;29
Coach AK
Okay, well, let's say I went to, Calvin Klein to get a shirt. What comes to your mind?
00;18;36;01 - 00;18;45;00
Steven Pesavento
I see, a guy who's, you know, dressed well, and, you know, you care a lot about style and sleek and chic and all that good stuff.
00;18;45;02 - 00;18;52;15
Coach AK
Okay, I'm gonna do one more question. What happens if I said I went to 711 to get a shirt?
00;18;52;17 - 00;19;02;28
Steven Pesavento
I'm seeing that you need to buy a shirt real quick, and, Yeah, you're walking out, you know, looking, looking like you're on a budget.
00;19;03;00 - 00;19;29;23
Coach AK
Okay. Might have, like, a beer sign on it or something. Yeah, yeah, but the reason why I say that is we don't understand. We understand now that the power of words and what it does to our mind. Right? Simply by switching a word changes that narrative, changes the image in our mind. So the first thing I tell people is like, when you're really telling a story, when you have clarity, when you have specifics, it builds out this narrative now.
00;19;29;23 - 00;19;50;27
Coach AK
But the funny thing is, is that we were to talk about this a few times. It's about perception. And I don't mean a brand, because when we're talking about this, when we're talking about like, what's your brand? It's not the same as perception. And also your reputation isn't the same also as perception. So what do I mean by that?
00;19;51;00 - 00;20;18;08
Coach AK
So when we are looking at a perception, if I walk into a room and I say that I am an athlete, I am six foot four, 240 pounds pretty well. People are going to have the perception of saying, yeah, that fits my perception of him. It fits his story. But if I walk in and I say I'm an athlete and I'm four foot 11, maybe super skinny, they're like, I don't know.
00;20;18;08 - 00;20;39;00
Coach AK
He may not fit their perception in my mind, but then all of a sudden I say, well, I'm a jockey. What will that happen? Oh, that makes sense. And so the reason why I think it's really important is we all have this perception as we're navigating through the world. We already have our stories that we have, and the story is usually of our, family origin.
00;20;39;00 - 00;20;57;24
Coach AK
Or it might be where we come from, but we all have these perceptions that are walking around the world. I have my perception. You have your perception. And so the goal is we have to understand that we all have these narratives going on in our mind that either affirm or don't confirm to the reality in which we see people.
00;20;57;27 - 00;21;20;00
Coach AK
So why do I say it's important when we're talking about leaders, when we're talking about individuals that are in a company or trying to grow a business or whatever they're looking to do, we have to understand that people are already going to have perceptions of us based on their world view. So if I go into a room and I say, hey, everybody, I'm an athlete.
00;21;20;00 - 00;21;47;00
Coach AK
Well, let's say that person grew up playing sports, all of a sudden they're now going to be like, hey, I like this guy. Well, let's say somebody grew up and there was the athletes that threw them into the locker room, right? Same message, same brand. But I've now created resistance and friction without me even knowing because somebody might have this perception of me that is a negative story in their mind, but I'm still selling.
00;21;47;00 - 00;22;02;27
Coach AK
I'm still trying to pitch it because like, no, no, no, no, no, no, I have nothing. So I think what you're talking about is really huge about when we talk about the stories that we have because we have our story, but that's also competing with what somebody else's story. And our goal is how do we match our two stories.
00;22;02;27 - 00;22;14;27
Coach AK
And usually what we need to do is ask people questions. Where are you coming from. What's your experience. And then we're able to better understand them, to be able to maneuver, influence and our desired action that we're looking for.
00;22;14;29 - 00;22;44;12
Steven Pesavento
Yeah. And so the power of asking questions helps you understand where they're at, where they're coming from, what they're experiencing, and helps you then change or influence the story or words that you're using to then get to the outcome that you're targeting. And so when you're speaking one to many and you're using stories as a powerful tool to be able to get people aligned with your message or the outcome that you're looking for, whether that's on a stage, whether that's on a podcast, whether that's in a book.
00;22;44;14 - 00;23;03;04
Steven Pesavento
How have you gone about aligning your personal experiences to be able to get that message out to the world? Because I think it's really critical that people learn this skill, because influence is a super powerful tool, whether it's one on one or whether it's one to millions.
00;23;03;06 - 00;23;35;27
Coach AK
Yeah. Well, then it then comes to be is if I'm in a room full of a whole bunch of athletes, right. For example, I played sports, I can use a similar story or let's say, high performing executives. Right? Me talking about the Olympics, me talking about the companies I worked for, they're going to get it. But if you're with another audience that may not have had that similar experience, the more I keep talking about my Olympic story or my, you know, executive story or the work that I've done may only create separation.
00;23;35;29 - 00;23;56;29
Coach AK
So there's actually this term they use is called the poppy effect. And what you need to do is I actually need to go into that room and I need to actually bring myself not down, but I need to talk about some of my struggles more. I need to talk about more about, hey, if I'm in a room that maybe hasn't had that particular experience, maybe they are just working the day to day and they haven't actually had that much experience.
00;23;56;29 - 00;24;21;22
Coach AK
I need to now bring myself down to talk about those experiences and say, you know what? Before the Olympics, you know, I actually grew up as a, you know, first generation in the United States. And I grew up to, parents that were, you know, working as janitors when they first started and working to get their PhD. And then for me, I started to go to the University of Oregon, and I didn't start right away.
00;24;21;24 - 00;24;45;06
Coach AK
I had to do those extra hours. I had to find ways of creating additional income by working side jobs. So now it's giving me areas about my background where I can actually relate with that audience. So I still talk about my Olympic story, but I also did talk about the story in that journey to create connection with people that connect with highest level all the way is to like just the everyday experience that most of us experience.
00;24;45;06 - 00;24;47;03
Coach AK
Each and every single day.
00;24;47;06 - 00;25;11;12
Steven Pesavento
It's super powerful. What you're really saying is you're bringing your frequency down to the level of the struggle that other people might be experiencing for that connection, while also being able to lift them up through the inspiration and the message that you're doing. But you need to meet them where they're at so you can carry them up to of the vision, to the opportunity, to the outcome that you're actually looking for.
00;25;11;14 - 00;25;12;18
Coach AK
Exactly.
00;25;12;20 - 00;25;30;27
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, it's it's really powerful. And I think a lot of people overlook, being really good at this. What are some resources or what are some things you think people can do if they're listening and they're thinking to themselves, hey, this is a skill that I need in my quiver. I need to get better at this. Where do they start?
00;25;30;29 - 00;26;06;07
Coach AK
Well, first one, as I say, just taking time to do some introspective work, meaning the better stories we're able to tell outwards are going to be the better stories we tell and understand ourselves. And this comes to vulnerability when we actually share our struggles, when we actually share our challenges, it actually makes us human. So what I want people to do first is I want you to identify your success moments as well as your challenging moments.
00;26;06;10 - 00;26;25;11
Coach AK
because what that creates, it creates a story gap. It creates an emotional gap. Because if I come in with a story and I talk about, hey, I started as a top athlete and I became still the top athlete, there's actually no gap. But if I talk about, hey, I remember sitting on the bench, I remember getting cut from the team.
00;26;25;11 - 00;26;49;12
Coach AK
I remember, you know, losing out the opportunity of a scholarship. And then I became an Olympian, for example, for example. It creates that gap, but it's only going to create that gap if you are not willing to talk about the pain, willing to talk about that low moment. So if people really want to be able to start telling powerful stories, you got to be real with yourself and be comfortable and vulnerable enough to talk about some of those painful moments.
00;26;49;12 - 00;27;04;05
Coach AK
So list them out. Let's start some of those 3 to 5 moments that were really those defining moments in your life that weren't success moments, but those down and out moments when you're thinking, I can't do this anymore. This is too hard, it's too tough, and I don't know if I can continue.
00;27;04;08 - 00;27;33;14
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, it's a powerful tool because you are humbling yourself to others. You are showing that you are not an invincible superhero. That's at the top of the world in every single way that that you yourself had gone through struggles which which allows other people to see you as a as a real person, but also it gives you the perspective of seeing yourself from that place and recognizing, appreciating the journey and being able to bridge the gap in that story that you're telling.
00;27;33;16 - 00;27;43;28
Steven Pesavento
so on that note, what was one of the hardest moments in your life, and what did you take away from experiencing one of those hard moments?
00;27;44;01 - 00;28;08;08
Coach AK
Yeah, the moment would be the Olympic moment. in 2008 to myself, 2008, it was the Beijing Olympics. And the year before I was running track and field at the University of Oregon, I decided to play football, and I ended up taking my ACL. And as an athlete, after I told my ACL, I said, you know what? I'm done with playing sports.
00;28;08;10 - 00;28;22;12
Coach AK
And it was so bad that I actually didn't even want to get my ACL repaired because I said, I don't want to play sports anymore. The doctor said, maybe you should do it just in case you want to continue to move. Trust me, you don't want to have a bad ACL in your 30s or in your 40s or in your 50s.
00;28;22;13 - 00;28;40;26
Coach AK
I'm like, okay, so I got it repaired. And then weeks later, I was in the Cook Islands with, my girlfriend at the time, and I was like 40 pounds overweight. I was on in shape and this guy named Pete walked up to me. He was a family friend of my ex-girlfriend. And she said, I heard about your sports playing base.
00;28;40;26 - 00;29;05;22
Coach AK
I heard you an All-American athlete at the University of Oregon. And maybe you should consider trying out for the Olympics. And I looked at him. I was like, hey, this isn't exactly the body of an elite athlete. But that conversation really stuck with me, stuck with me a lot, almost to the point that weeks later, I actually sold everything that I had, and I started training full time for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.
00;29;05;24 - 00;29;24;29
Coach AK
And I'm losing the weight. I end up getting back in shape and end up running some of the fastest times I've ever ran. so it's coming to the Olympic trials that year and they're going to be held in Nigeria. And so I'm Nigerian American, I'm first generation. My parents moved here in 1976. So I have dual citizenship.
00;29;25;01 - 00;29;46;28
Coach AK
And so I remember I was going to travel over to do the Olympic trials. And, and then this moment, the Olympic trials are going to be, actually a week later, but there's going to be this preliminary meet that's happening beforehand. And so it's going to be this permit meet where they bring an international competition. So I get on to the ground after doing this first international trip that takes like 24 hours to get there.
00;29;47;00 - 00;30;09;14
Coach AK
And I'm sitting there and someone knocks on the door and the person knocks, opens the door, and it's one of the meeting organizers. And they say, you know, this Olympic trials we're going to be doing next week. We've actually decided to do it today for your event. and you have to get top three in the 400. Mind you, my first time overseas, I got to get top three and my body's tired.
00;30;09;16 - 00;30;38;13
Coach AK
so the very next day, you know, I get on the track, you know, the gun goes off, I cross the finish line, and I get third place. right. So in this moment, I'm like, I'm tearing up. I'm like, a year and a half ago, I'm overweight. But now I am going to the Olympic Games. Two days later, they get us together and we actually go off to Egypt to do this, this, this, this, this race that we have to do.
00;30;38;15 - 00;30;57;04
Coach AK
And so we do this race. I'm on my way back when I go back to Nigeria. And all I wanted at this time was just a cold glass of water, because I haven't had it. So I go and I go to the bar downstairs in the hotel that we're at, and they give me this cold glass of water with ice in it, shut it.
00;30;57;06 - 00;31;23;01
Coach AK
I go to my room and you can imagine a couple hours later my stomach is like, it ain't feeling good. I didn't even get it all. And I'm sick as a dog. I am just sitting. And so I get back to Nigeria and as I'm just laying there trying to like, rehydrate, it actually is a couple of days actually, the next day is actually gonna be the Olympic trials that they were going to have.
00;31;23;03 - 00;31;48;25
Coach AK
So once again, I'm in my bed, I get a knock on the door and I open it up and the meeting organizer says, you know, that Olympic trials we kind of did last week, we actually realize we're going to do it today. Tomorrow. I'm sorry. Tomorrow. Wow. And so you actually have to rerun, but instead of rerunning, we're not only going to have 1 or 2 heats, we're actually making an open casting where anybody that wants to run the 400 can run.
00;31;48;27 - 00;32;14;08
Coach AK
Wow. So it went from two heats to actually 161 athletes to five heats. So remember I go through the first heat, make it through, I go to the first, I go to the first, you know, series make it through, but I'm certain my body's just too exhausted and I don't make it. so in that moment, I knew what it felt like to make the Olympics as well as lose the Olympics.
00;32;14;08 - 00;32;34;05
Coach AK
And I ended up watching it from home. Yeah, but it was a very, very valuable lesson. But I got, you know, I had to be real with myself and, like, so why did I want this Olympics? And it was because I felt like I needed to get to the Olympics to work for Nike. I thought I needed the Olympics to stand up on stage and speak.
00;32;34;08 - 00;32;53;21
Coach AK
And I have some friends that made that Olympics. They woke up the very next day and they expected what the world was going to change. And then they said, you know what I needed. They look themselves in you, I need, I need a second Olympics. They another four years got their Olympics, woke up the next day and what happened.
00;32;53;24 - 00;33;11;27
Coach AK
The world was still the same. Yeah. See for me in that moment it helped me realize like how many times in my life where they're waiting for, I'm going to do this. When this happens, I'm going to do this. When that happens, realizing I don't have an Olympics. Yeah, I traveled around the world, but I've worked with some of the top companies in the world.
00;33;11;29 - 00;33;28;04
Coach AK
I've spoke around the globe. And so for this messages to a lot of individuals is how many things that you'd been delaying in your life for a future state when you can do it right here and right now with the skills that you have?
00;33;28;06 - 00;33;57;00
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, yeah, it's a really powerful lesson to learn to not wait around until the when this happens moment comes. Because the more that I've gone through that in my life building business, going to school, going after my dreams, whatever those things are, the irony is, once you get the outcome that you were looking for, it doesn't necessarily really change your life that much until you change who you are, who you're showing up as.
00;33;57;02 - 00;34;19;11
Steven Pesavento
So I think there's a really, really powerful thing for people to take away. So I know you're you're a business owner, you're running businesses, you're helping other people who are doing the same. What role has investing made in your life? Have you invested in the markets? Have you invested in private equity and real estate? in advisory type things.
00;34;19;11 - 00;34;31;26
Steven Pesavento
What type of strategies have you used to take the money that you've earned with your time, effort, energy, and, put it to work, to work for you?
00;35;25;02 - 00;35;39;07
Coach AK
Oh yeah I am a very, very average investor. So I've played I mean I invest in the stock market. I've done day trading. I have long term investments. I invested in art.
00;35;39;09 - 00;35;39;29
Speaker 3
00;35;40;21 - 00;35;46;29
Coach AK
I additionally, I believe that there's also a second investment I put a lot of money into and that's also myself.
00;35;47;01 - 00;35;48;10
Steven Pesavento
Yeah.
00;35;48;13 - 00;36;05;02
Coach AK
that is one thing that I put a lot of money into. So investing in courses invested and training invested in my book and also invested in business, because oftentimes I believe that the most money I put into or I'm betting in is on myself.
00;36;05;05 - 00;36;06;05
Speaker 3
00;36;06;08 - 00;36;16;18
Coach AK
And that betting on myself will go in last until the entirety of my whole entire life. And in some ways I also have a lot more control of that as well.
00;36;16;21 - 00;36;40;26
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, I really think out of all the investments, investing yourself is the one that leads to the biggest ROI, because not only does it give you the confidence and the skills, but it also puts you in a position to be able to know what are the things that you should do to either live a great life, God, and make money, or even being able to choose the other types of investments that you can put your money towards.
00;36;40;26 - 00;37;08;18
Steven Pesavento
Because I think a lot of people, they hear about investing, they know about the benefits they want to get money working for them, and then they just pull the trigger and start firing off investments. And maybe it works out, but maybe it doesn't. And if it doesn't work out, oftentimes it's because you didn't have the knowledge, skills, expertise and wisdom from experience to be able to choose the right opportunities, whether that's in the market or whether it's in a private equity fund.
00;37;08;21 - 00;37;33;05
Steven Pesavento
because each different type of investment requires a very different skill set. If you're going to go pick stocks, obviously you have to have some unique skill or relationship to those individual companies. But then when people get into my business, when they want to start investing in real estate, or they want to invest into it passively, where an expert operator manages everything, it really does come down to who you choose to invest with.
00;37;33;05 - 00;37;39;23
Steven Pesavento
And if you don't have the skills to know the difference between people you know, you can get into some mucky water.
00;37;39;26 - 00;38;09;02
Coach AK
Or use or some powerful. I believe that the number one way to actually change behavior or habits is through your tribe, through your circle. So I want people to think about it like, who do you know that is a successful investor? Who do you know that is successful in private equity? Because oftentimes what we do if we're just shooting from the hip, well, who is that person in our circle?
00;38;09;02 - 00;38;30;14
Coach AK
I gotta go take a moment. Right. Yeah. That actually has that expertise. It actually has a skill that actually has that mindset in your corner. Now, if you don't know anybody, then what am I going to tell you to do? Find someone. Yeah. And if you feel as though that you are the smartest in the room that does that, the one what I tell you to do, become the dominant player in the next room?
00;38;30;16 - 00;38;49;26
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so true. And it's, it's it is actually the critical thing to do as an investor is to get around other people who know what they're doing. On another level, and to learn from them, and to be able to get their wisdom, to be able to know their experience. People come to me and say, hey, should I invest in private real estate?
00;38;49;26 - 00;39;08;21
Steven Pesavento
And I say, well, it depends. What do you know about it? Who do you know? Like, I know for sure what I'm doing and I can trust my track record and I can think of a handful of people who I trust that I'd recommend. But there's so many people that I don't. There's so many people that I would say, now, don't don't go and work with those people.
00;39;08;23 - 00;39;33;06
Steven Pesavento
and not because I want that anybody to become a client of mine, because I mostly want people to avoid the pitfalls that can happen because, you know, the greatest thing in the universe is compounding interest, whether that's compounding your skills or your money or your connections or any of those things. But if you lose the principal, if you lose what you started with, it takes a lot longer to gain that back.
00;39;33;08 - 00;39;58;00
Coach AK
Well we were talking about a process that we've been going through and that is first identifying what we want. Who we need to be. What are the habits of the micro habits that we need to take. What you brought in was extremely powerful and that is what are the distraction the roadblocks in your way. there might be people that might be vices, that might be sometimes oftentimes your own mindset.
00;39;58;02 - 00;40;16;13
Coach AK
So you can have all of the things working for you. But if you don't remove those negative people, if you don't remove those negative vices, you can end up losing that principle, losing that growth. So it's not only important about what you do, I think it's also important about who you decide to remove to make sure that you stay on track.
00;40;16;15 - 00;40;29;09
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, it's it's so true. And and coach, it's been so great having you on. I've got one more question for you. But before we do, why don't you share with the audience where they can follow you or get a copy of your book?
00;40;29;12 - 00;40;48;24
Coach AK
Yeah. So they can get they can actually just type in coach a K. I'm the only one you can find a lot, or you can type in AK or I'm on LinkedIn. You can go to my website at coach at TED.com. You can also find me on Instagram as well. And I also am the author of The Next Right Move Starting strong to being the who you want to be.
00;40;48;24 - 00;40;50;27
Coach AK
And you can get that on Amazon.
00;40;50;29 - 00;41;09;17
Steven Pesavento
Yeah, I think it's so important to figure out what that next right move is no matter what you're doing. And so I definitely recommend you guys go get a copy of the next right Move and coach, thanks so much for being on. As we wrap up today, we've talked about a lot of important, powerful ways to be able to live a better life.
00;41;09;17 - 00;41;32;14
Steven Pesavento
How to shift your perspective, how to get connected to those habits. For those listeners who they've heard this stuff, they know that it's true and it's being reinforced in our conversation today. But yet they just haven't been able to get themselves to make a move. What do you recommend? should be that step towards going in the direction that they want.
00;41;32;16 - 00;42;02;29
Coach AK
Well, there was a study that was done in the city, identified how many individuals, once they set a goal, are able to achieve it. A year later. Now, within that, 43% of individuals can only last 30 days, 26% can only last one week. For the percentage of individuals that are actually able to reach their goals once they set it as 9%.
00;42;03;02 - 00;42;24;04
Coach AK
and so it's actually not about the goals that we set. It's not about the what that we want. I believe the biggest question everybody should leave here from today. Is how do you stay consistent? how do you stay consistent? Not consistent when things are easy, not consistent when things are hard. But how do we stay consistent?
00;42;24;06 - 00;42;40;29
Coach AK
Because once we're able to do that, we're going to become a better investor, become better with our loved ones, are going to have more successful business. We can be able to show up for ourselves. So I want people to really answer the question. It's what's going to make you stay consistent.
00;42;41;02 - 00;42;54;27
Steven Pesavento
I love it. Well, coach, there's so much that we could get into. I'd love to have you back on another time and spend some time in person. But thank you so much for joining us and listen to the episode today. And, we'll see you guys next week.
00;42;55;00 - 00;42;55;24
Coach AK
Thank you all. Appreciate.